Bats in the Belfrey

A belfrey is the top of a tower where a bell (or bells) is (are) placed.  Such locations are most often found in older churches and city builings, and are open on all sides as to allow the bell(s) sound to be heard everywhere.  Given the openness of the space, it's not unlikely to find bats living in it--especially when the bell is not often used.  The bats are seen as an irritation, especially when one has to clean the area, and can be hazardous to anyone doing so as they fly about the head, potentially making you unballanced, and likely to fall.  The reference is also used referring to a person having an unbalanced mind, or essentially being crazy.
Quod erat demonstrandum.

If You Want Something Done Right, You've Got To Do It Yourself

I'm sure you've all heard this one, and I'm sure you know what it means.  What you might need to know, however, is that if you're going to do it yourself, make sure you're capable first.

A few years ago, my father owned a house he was leasing out, and he noticed that the wiring was rather old (at least 40 years).  To him, this meant the house had a fire hazard, and should be fixed as soon as possible.  My mother wanted it done professionally, so my father checked several local contractors, and got estimates from them.  Their prices were so high that he picked up a few more gray hairs, and told my mother that he would do it himself, rather than pay so much.  The job took him 4 weekends, and he felt certain that he had done the best job possible.

Unfortunately, renting houses in this area requires an inspection before renting, whenever major work is done.  The city inspector was in the house for two hours, then he brought Dad inside and told him that he had done everything wrong. 

"If you live outside the city, as you do, doing electrical work can be done yourself, because there are few laws on how it should be done.  However, when you're dealing with a house that's in the city, you have to do the job as stated by law, and no one is allowed to do otherwise."

He then told my father that he'd have to rip out all the work he'd done, and then hire a contractor to do the work right, as the contractors were kept completely up to date on local building codes.  He also showed my father a book containing all the local laws (it was almost 10 inches thick, and the paper was very thin).  Needless to say, my father went with a contractor to do the work.

Doing it yourself has always been a treasured right for many people in this country.  It will likely remain so, but we must always check to see that what we do, we do correctly.

Quod erat demonstrandum.

As Old As Methuselah

This one I've heard in several references, but I have never had any problem in defining it.  Methuselah is the name of a character in the bible; to be fairly precise, Genesis 5:25-27.  The reference claims he lived to be 969 years old.  Sometimes I think I'd like to have that kind of longevity, then I remember that the character didn't have a perfect life, just a long one.
Quod erat demonstrandum.

Neither a Borrower Nor a Lender Be

This was a difficult one for me over time, because I had so many people use it in my presence while I grew up.  My mother used to say it regularly, especially if I wanted an advance on my allowance.  She didn't have any idea where it came from though; she always assumed it was "just one of those things" passed down from generation to generation.  I had also heard that the phrase came from somewhere in the bible, but re-reading that was just too much to ask (once was enough, given that it took me 8 months to do the first time!).  Ultimately, it was my need to reference my complete volume of Shakespeare that led me to the result:

"Neither a borrower nor a lender be;
For loan oft loses both itself and friend,
And borrowing dulls the edge of husbandry."
William Shakespeare, Hamlet

Quod erat demonstrandum.

BTW: I won't tell you the exact location; I believe the works of Shakespeare to be pure gold, and well worth reading. Find it yourself, and enjoy the effort.

Smart as a Whip

When I was young, my parents kept telling me I was "smart as a whip".  At the time, I didn't understand what that meant--apparently I wasn't quite smart enough! ;)  Anyway, the term is a simile which refers to a person's ability to answer a question quickly, sometimes even before the question is completed.  I was able to do this when I was a child, but I'm afraid I've lost the touch in my old-... er, middle-age.
Quod erat demonstrandum.

A Stitch in Time Saves Nine

I realize that by this time most people probably already know the meaning of this phrase, but I thought I'd mention it anyway...

This is a reference to darning (repairing) socks.  The idea is that if you are bright enough to take care of the problem when it's a small one, you won't have to cope with it later when it becomes larger; i.e. one stitch repaired now will prevent having to repair nine stitches later.
Quod erat demonstrandum.

Clean As a Whistle

I heard this one today.  Now, I find it quite unlikely that this could apply to just any kind of whistle; mouth-blown whistles especially are anything but clean. My solution followes.

"Clean as a whistle" refers to a steam whistle.  In the past, steam trains travelled  from place to place, always announcing their presence by blowing a whistle.  The whistle was a powerful one, given that it's power came from the same steam that powered the engine.  This steam was under pressure, and it was boiling hot.  When it was blown through the mechanics of the whistle, it naturally sterilized the interior, therefore making it "clean as a whistle."  Quod erat demonstrandum.